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Excerpt from CHRISTMAS WITH YOU
“Give it your best shot. Show me what you can do,” said Carly.
Kip glowered at the roll of snowman-printed paper, scissors, and tape dispenser, lined up on his right side like instruments on a surgeon’s sterile tray. After dinner, he’d muscled the coffee table away from the couch, and the two of them had kneeled on the floor, surrounded by shopping bags and gift-wrapping crap.
If his mates could see him now…they’d laugh their damn asses off. He wouldn’t blame them.
Carly, opposite him, wore a wide this is gonna be hilarious grin.
If making a dick of himself was the only way to make her happy, he’d play the fool. Given his talents with gift-wrapping were approximately as good as his talent with floral arrangements; he’d have her in stitches in no time flat. Though he didn’t want to think about why it’d become important to hear her laugh—a sound that filled his stomach with tickly feathers and made him grin moronically in return.
“Come on, how hard can it be?” She nudged the first of the two Lego boxes closer to him. “It’s the easiest one to wrap.”
“You promised—no female commentary or advice.”
He shot her a sharp glance, and she mimed zipping her lips, her eyes—still a little puffy—dancing with humor. Puffy-eyed or not, she was beautiful. Breath-stealing, gut-wrenchingly, heart-palpitating-ly beautiful. Keeping his hands off her during dinner had taken a feat of willpower equivalent to that of a starving man sitting at a ten course banquet and managing not to eat.
“All right, then.” He shook out the wrapping paper so it unrolled in a long tongue across the carpet, then he stuck out a hand, palm up, without glancing at her. “Scissors. Hit me.”
Scissors slapped into his hand. Shuffling along on his knees toward the end of the roll, he measured a length that he figured should do and hacked across the paper. Boo-yah! Half way there already. So far, so good.
He dropped the scissors and held out his hands. “Lego. Hit me.”
She passed the box, and he placed it at one end of the paper. Grabbing the edge, Kip flipped the sucker end over end until he ran out of wrapping.
The dispenser hissed and clicked as Carly tore off a strip and stuck it on his fingertips. He slapped it on, ordered her to hit him again. She did, and he stuck that bit down, too. He paused to examine his work, didn’t even bother glancing at Carly for approval, because, man, he was in the zone. Nailing it, and only the ends to go.
With about four layers of paper to manipulate, taping up the ends required Carly to hit him with tape strips six times each side. But the end product, when he’d tossed the present over and applied the finishing touch of a red bow-thingy
Gift-wrapped like a boss, baby.
© Tracey Alvarez 2015
Silly Season Funny…
Speaking of gift-wrapping – if you need a chuckle in between shopping and holiday preparation, check out the below video. Note, there’s a little bit of fresh language for those who don’t like it.
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